How this mom is dealing with deployment
Hello Military Community,
It has been a week since my husband left for deployment to Afghanistan and I find myself trying to find that structure and stability required not only for
me but for our daughter Cheyenne. It is harder this deployment; Cheyenne is older and wiser to the cycle of life and how easy hate can lead to death.
In past deployments I don’t think she really feared or understood where he went. She only realized he was gone and that made her sad. This deployment Cheyenne understands where, why and all the other aspects of his deployment along with the sadness of all the things he will be missing on the homefront.
This first week has been a daily – out of nowhere bouts of crying from both of us. Little random thoughts and things are sneaky and will pop up to remind us of Steve. This will get easier as time passes and I have to remind Cheyenne of this daily.
During this first week, Cheyenne had her first prom. She was really upset that her dad was not here. They had plans to go get the dress together and she was looking forward to her dad “scaring” the young man coming to pick her up… ☺. So I took on that roll and did my best to “put the fear” into the young man along with my role of being camera happy.
Also, Cheyenne started her first job and “again” I did my best to put a smile on her face along with doing something funny to make Steve feel present by creating a “flat Steve” (his face on a stick). On Cheyenne’s fist day I popped up during her shift and made Cheyenne take a picture with it to send her dad. This accomplished two things, lifting Cheyenne’s spirit and putting a smile on her face and letting Steve know we were thinking of and wanting to include him on this special day. Steve got a huge kick out of it.
After Steve left I was asked, “Has it gotten easier?” Deployments are never easy no matter how many times you and your family experience them. For me building up to the departure and Steve leaving is the worst. I have a consistent knot in my stomach; trying to have stability in our home during all the extra training and missed events before he leaves and seeing the worry on Steve’s face about the deployment and what he will have to face along with trying to have
as much of the “daddy do list” done in advance and trying to spend as much “one on one” with Cheyenne and I before he leaves.
Plus knowing in advance the deployment ceremony is going to be so emotional for our family along with picking up the emotional energy of every other person at the ceremony is emotionally, physically and spiritually draining.
Life during deployment will be hard for a while and worse once he leaves country and is in the combat zone. But by that time I should have established a routine and have my emotions under better control. And knowing there are many resources, friends and family just a phone call away if I need them is a huge relief.
Blessings from my family to yours,
If you have any questions or concerns or would like to share a story or situation, contact me at Kim@MilitaryResourceBooks.com and visit my website for updated information and other resources not listed in my book.