Sometimes emotions just have to wait
Hello Military Community,
As I sit here typing today and wonder what to write, the thought foremost in my mind is, “I don’t have time today.” Seems I have been saying that a lot lately with graduation parties, yard work, helping with homework and finals, housework, driving my daughter to and from work at the most inconvenient times and – trying to write.
This week is different, this is the week my daughter Cheyenne and I have been looking forward to but dreading at the same time: My husband Steve’s four-day pass. I’m looking forward to it because we have not seen him since May 1 – Dreading it because he will be walking away from us for the last time for at least a year if not longer.
We do not get the opportunity to see him during a two week R&R as this unit does not get one. Why? Good question, we were not given an answer.
So as I hold up the home-front, I am frantically trying to find the best deal on rental cars, lodging in Ft. Hood and San Antonio, Texas, finding somewhere for the dog to go, someone to check in on the cats, mail and to “please water the flowers and my garden!”
It seems that lately I do not have time for anything, especially complicated emotions. I’m just tired and the deployment has not started yet. My mind understands all the planning in advance is important and getting things done early will make my life easier. This is our third deployment but this time, I know it’s going to be different.
In the past Cheyenne has been a child and I had her emotions and needs to keep me busy. This time she is pretty much an adult and will be driving soon. She does not really need me except as her ATM and taxi. I find myself alone more and wondering “who am I?” So as I find myself busy lately and not having much time to relax, I fear that time is coming all-too soon when I will have to face those emotions.
These next four days will not only be important on a deployment aspect but as a parent as well. Not only will we face the reality of Steve leaving. Steve and I face our daughter leaving (possibly) the house for college while he is gone and I will face my identity without my daughter.
So with the idea that we are possibly taking our last vacation together, I am frantically planning time at San Antonio Zoo, SeaWorld, San Antonio Caverns and zip-line ride and a trip to the Alamo. Hopefully we have a safe trip full of beautiful memories – my emotions can wait for a different week as I do not have time to think about them now.
Blessings from my family to yours,
If you have any questions or concerns or would like to share a story or situation, contact me at Kim@MilitaryResourceBooks.com and visit my website at MilitaryResourceBooks.com for updated information and other resources not listed in my book.