Mental Notes with Hilary Valdez: Our internal life

Mental Notes with Hilary Valdez: Our internal life

by Hilary Valdez
Stripes Korea

Everyone has an internal life, yet, I cannot experience your experience and you cannot experience my experience. I can, however, share my experience with you. As such, true reality is what you are thinking about all day. We all live in our own social atom or bubble. When we bump into each other, our internal life reacts to that moment.

How we react reflects our core values and internal beliefs. Having mental flexibility, an efficient belief system, and a life philosophy about adversities, human desires, and preferences, provides a pathway toward a healthy lifestyle. But as you examine your values, beliefs, thinking, and emotions, do you need a minor tune-up or a major psychological tune-up?

Emotions are electrochemical signals that affect the chemistry and electricity of every cell in the body. The body’s electrical state is modulated by emotions, changing our inner world. Our emotional states affects the world outside our bodies. What happens when you get angry?

People who observe you, react to your angry behavior.

Everyone would benefit by developing real-time resilience. This is accomplished by regulating your emotions, energy levels, and improving your problem-solving skills. It’s important to put events in perspective and identify outdated deep beliefs and core values that need to be modified by “healthier” thinking. Clear thinking can help you achieve the things you want in life, but what you get is determined by your awareness. Do you need a minor tune-up?

Start with what traumatic event in your life still affects you today. What hurts your heart? Who hurt your heart? Some people walk around carrying the burden of pain from the past and present events. Turning the volume down on these intrusion thoughts will help to stay focused on positive thinking. This may require a major tune-up. The key point is, don’t get stuck on the psychological barbwire of the past. Be honest with your feelings, be open to feedback and have a willingness to change.

This might require you to be a little scientific in your thinking and not so emotional. Ask yourself, what is the most likely implication if you have a different perspective. My millennial daughters are constantly challenging my thoughts, words, behavior and what I wear. So, I must be open to feedback and be willing to change. But their ideas are good for me, I don’t feel so old. But I refuse to wear pink shirts because I have to draw the line somewhere.

If you are afraid to change, ask yourself: What is your biggest fear? Fear holds a person back. Just believe in yourself. Then look at your pattern of thinking. If you are a negative thinker, it will be difficult to be around you. Try being positive for one day and see what happens. Write down your negative thoughts. Write the time down when you had the thought and what caused you to have a negative thought. This will help in monitoring your thinking pattern and if you need a minor tune-up.

If you wake up in the morning, it’s the start of a happy day. If you can feed yourself and walk down the stairs, it’s the start of a happy day. If you wake up with the grumpies and cold prickles, avoid overthinking things to a catastrophic level. Turn the volume down on your anxiety and try to establish a pattern of realistic optimism. Each morning we are born again and have another chance at life to discover and improve our emotional well-being. Say meow to your cat. Bark at your dog. Kiss the kids and your wife or husband. Everyone will think you’re weird, but so what, they will be smiling and happy. Happiness is contagious. Just find your inspiration. What moves you? What gets your toes tapping?

Try and end the day with a positive thought. Don’t go to bed angry and kiss the family goodnight. No matter how hard things were, tomorrow is a new day and a new start to improve your well-being and chase your dreams. Happiness is your decision. Be where you are. Don’t fight yourself. Walk “straight fear-ward.”

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Hilary Valdez is a retiree living in Japan. He is an experienced Mental Health professional and Resiliency Trainer. Valdez is a former Marine and has worked with the military most of his career and most recently worked at Camp Zama as a Master Resiliency Trainer. Valdez now has a private practice and publishes books on social and psychological issues. His books are available on Amazon and for Kindle. Learn more about Valdez and contact him at www.hilaryvaldez.com or at InstantInsights@hotmail.com. Follow his YouTube channel Hilary’s Quick Talk for more insights.

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